Intermammary sulcus

My Girl Scout troop has been discussing women's issues almost exclusively over the past couple of years when we're not doing the regular scouting things like planning outings, encampments, raising money for field trips, etc. There has been no end to the bad news for our gender of late. From the Hobby Lobby case, the falling of the protective buffer around abortion clinics, the NFL scandals -- both the lack of remuneration for their cheerleaders and the light handling of domestic abuse by the organization, and on and on and on. But none of these issues really caught their hearts and passions. I think they thought it didn't pertain to them. They're not getting birth control, seeking abortions, in an abusive relationship with their pro-footballer or cheering for his team.

I've felt like our gender was under attack.

But then the incident from the other week happened to me and I actively participated in rape culture despite my long held belief that I was above it. I thought that I could rise above and place the blame exactly where it belonged, at my attacker's feet. Only he had responsibility for what he did to me -- kissed me and slapped my bottom without permission or welcome. But no, I realized that I hadn't risen above. I thought exactly those thoughts that our culture impresses upon us. I questioned what I was wearing, what I might have said to make him think that his treatment of me was welcome.

I hate myself for thinking those thoughts.

But it really made me really consider how deeply entrenched this thought process is in me. Where the hell did it come from and what can I do to exorcise it? The power of Gloria Steinem compels you!  The power of Gloria Steinem compels you! 

How lucky for me that the case of the yoga pants has made national headlines. Across the country, well meaning school administrators have been banning yoga pants. These are comfortable pants that cover a person's body on their bottom half. Sometimes they can be formfitting and give evidence that a person has a body. The argument is that they're distracting and... I've just sat here for the past five minutes trying to finish that previous sentence. I don't have a handle on why yoga pants would be considered bad.

In Illinois, there are some middle school aged girls protesting the yoga pants ban by wearing them and holding signs, "Are my pants lowering your test scores?" In Billings, MT, there is a similar ban being instituted by a public high school. In an opinion piece by Ashley Crtalic, she  dissects a very common experience for young girls, the shame of being "dress coded," and how it affects their schooling. This is the moment in which girls are told that their bodies are dangerous and need to be covered, and that boys are incapable of controlling themselves around girls. It also gives girls the ridiculous belief that violence can be prevented by their style of dress. As if a lower hemline could ever induce a person bent on rape to stop.

At this point I decided to look at my girls' dress code for the 7th & 8th grades. The very first word is in bold and it is "Cleavage."

Cleavage.

That's the thing about words, I love them. Because you can say one word and come up with nuances that are implied.

Cleavage.

It is a word that describes the area between the breasts. But more than that it implies sexual maturity because a young girl who has not yet gone through puberty will not have cleavage.

Cleavage.

Of all the words they could have chosen to describe the chest, they chose the one that is only for young women. We all have chests -- part of being humans.   As humans, we all have breasts -- part of being mammals. Why not use the gender neutral term chest? Why not use the term that could apply to boys, girls who are in the throes of puberty, and those girls who have not gotten there yet?

Cleavage.

On this point, I think the administration and I agree. "Cleavage," does not belong in the middle school. Especially not in the handbook for all of the kids.

So, the dress code at the middle school is finally the women's issue that the girls are on fire about. Not only because it affects them directly, but also because it is the first volley; the first seed of institutionalized rape culture in our society. It is the start of the self doubting, slut shaming, and victim blaming that occurs. It is the start of believing men have no control over themselves; they must be protected from womanly wiles. It is the audacious belief that women's breasts can exonerate men of responsibility for their own actions.

Enough.