Hugs

I'm your average American woman. Not a twiggy French lady. I'm a curvy, fluffy, Botticelli-like goddess.

This past Easter, I spent time with some friends who are not your average American woman. They're sisters who are cursed with the opposite of most American women. Can't keep an ounce of fat on their bodies, you know? They're great people, lovely friends. And they give great long hugs. They give those kind of hugs that really make you feel hugged, pulled in and then they hold the hug long enough for at least 30 heartbeats. And because their metabolic rates are so low, those 30 heartbeats are a long time.

But I've always been a squishy kind of person. When they hug me, they're warm hugs, but I can practically reach my arms around back again on myself reaching around their bodies.

Which makes me wonder, not unkindly, what it must be like for them to hug me. Is it weird to be up against all that squishy? Or what is it like for them to hug each other? Because I imagine that's almost like bone on bone.

How's that for completely random?

Relatives

Me: So how is your wife related to that guy? You said that he's her second cousin so her dad must be his first cousin, right?

Bro: No, that's not right. (sounds of his wife talking behind him, muffled over the phone) Okay, he's the husband of the wife of her second cousin.

Me:  That still makes him her second cousin.

Bro: ...

Effing patriarchal politics

Bridgegate in NJ is one of those funny but irritating kind of news stories. The governor's people try to muscle a mayor by shutting down lanes on a bridge. Fools that they are, they left an email trail. The main actors are the former Deputy Chief of Staff Bridget Kelly, former Port Authority official David Wildstein, and a former top adviser to the Governor Chris Christie (R-NJ), Bill Stepien.

I don't claim to know anything more. I'm just gleaning from other news sources out there. But here's what's got my hackles raised. 

Christie hired some lawyers to look into this whole scandal and find who is at fault. His lawyers have essentially gone over all of the evidence in the case that will likely be used for Christie's own defense down the road and come up with their conclusions. The evidence except for testimony from everybody, and all the interviews that were taken were not under oath, but whatever. I'm not a lawyer. What has not happened and I'm alarmed that hasn't really happened, is them getting called out for being misogynists. 

The report states that Bridget Kelly was emotional and in a vulnerable state because of her recent break up with Stepien. That she was nervous and weepy, looking for approval from men. Her judgment was off when she orchestrated this whole bridge shutdown.  

I told my husband about this little bit of tripe, and (bless his heart, this won't color him in a very good light, and that's unfair) he initially didn't even blink at it. I asked him to change the name of the deputy secretary to Brandon instead of Bridget, and he realized how ridiculous the characterization was. 

 Can you imagine a 42 year old single mother, a career woman at the highest levels of her profession being this kind of emotional, hysterical wreck over a breakup? Neither can I. Would it make sense she close a bridge because she's missing her boyfriend? No. Might her motivations to close the bridge be less about her hurt feelings and more about the political will of her employer, her party, or her own aspirations? More likely.

This is simply what male entitlement looks like. 

That this kind of statement about any woman can be considered kosher is unbelievable.

I got nothing more. Just anger. Don't get me started on the word hysterical. Go. Look it up if you don't know it's origin already. Yeah. That's this culture's roots. 

If I were a man, I would hope I'd have the sense to know better.