The New Math

A day late, I went to the local bookstore to pick up the last in the Harry Potter series. I'm kinda of the camp that wants to see Harry cooked. Not that I don't like Potter or hope that in his imaginary world, he lives to see a ripe old age, but his doing in would be a true finality to the series. Come on, don't we all wish on some level that Rocky ate it after Rocky (the first movie)?

So anyway, my 6 year old daughter accompanied me on this mission. She wanted to get a princess coloring book but got completely sidetracked by a Klutz activity book on how to draw a cat and a My Little Pony sticker book. Tough decisions I know. Well, the cat book was about $10 and the pony book was $7 dollars. (I rounded up.) Anyway, she was using some birthday money and the frugal girl that she is, she wanted to know which one she should buy and still have the most money left over.

"The cat book is ten dollars and the pony book is seven dollars. Which one costs more?" I had seized on the learning moment.

"Well, I'll get the cat book because it costs less."

"Wait a sec, which is more, ten or seven?"

"Seven is more than ten, Mommy."

Not wanting to give her the answer, we went through counting all the way up to 10 and I asked again, "which one is less, honey, ten or seven?"

"Ten is less than seven." She was solid in her thinking by now.

"Let's think about it this way, if I were to give you just seven dollars or ten dollars, which would make you happier?"

She chewed on that one for a little while and then answered quite astutely, "I'd be happier if you gave me eleven dollars."

Turned out that she was getting confused because seven and eleven sound alike, but I thought that her answer was pretty good anyway. It was accurate to say the least.

She ended up getting the sticker book and has been pleased as punch. I have a feeling that I'll still have to look for a Barbie princess coloring book.

Back to School Shopping

This coming fall, I will be going to an RN Refresher course. After having been out of nursing for the past 10 years, I'm getting my license back. Thankfully, this state requires you take a refresher course if you've been out of practice for over 3 years. I'm glad for this opportunity because frankly, I'm terrified to go back without some kind of refresher. Things just have changed, that's all. They don't still use leeches, do they?

I have to say though, I am nervous about going back to school. I'm guessing there are a lot of people in the same boat as I am. My sweet husband has no worries about that. He says that even though I'm older, I'm still smart. Bummer though, I think that this time through, I'll have to get reading glasses.

But along with the granny reading glasses, I get to buy all new nursing stuff. Over the past couple of days, my doorstep has been receiving cool new gear. One day, 3 of my textbooks arrived. Okay, that was a bummer. I had forgotten how heavy these bastards are. I figure I can work out just by carrying my books around. "How much do you press, Tess?" "Oh, I've worked my way up from RN Drug reference book to the full Med/Surg textbook." The next day I got 2 sets of scrubs. I got some that look a little more updated, but still in that lovely ceil blue. I had never *heard* of ceil blue before shopping for nursing clothes. Lastly, I got my stethoscope.

I was excited to get my stethoscope because my last one had been stolen when I last worked. My mom had bought me a lavender Littman Classic II for Christmas. I had a tag with my name on it and everything, but it walked. So I was shopping, and while I loathe most things pink, I did buy a pink stethoscope. See, 3M was donating $5 for each of these pink stethoscopes sold for breast cancer research, and the stethoscope costs the same as all the other colors, so why not? I ended up getting it engraved with "Tess Haddon, RN" just in case.

My son was very excited to see my stethoscope and had a suggestion on its use.

"Mom, before you go use that on people, can I go listen to a tree?"

A lot of what he says to me just leaves me bewildered. And I think it will be that way for the rest of our lives together.

"No, Mom, you can hear the sap going up the tree. For real."

"What does it sound like?" I asked.

"I can't exactly describe it..."

"Does it sound like sucking on a straw?" I made a slurping sound.

"No. Just go listen to one, Mom. We did it in school."

I rolled my eyes at him. Another crazy idea. But now, after having shut him down, I'm feeling like a jerk. Turns out that it is possible to hear sap go up a tree trunk during Spring. You're supposed to pick a thin barked tree and listen very quietly. You'll be able to hear the sap going up the trunk to the branches and leaves.

I suspect that I'll be listening to our trees with my Breast Cancer Awareness Littman Classic II S.E. Stethoscope this coming Spring. I'll have my son show me how.

Baby Lizzie Borden

Cooking with a toddler in your kitchen is never easy. Yes, we have the cabinet locks on all the doors within reach. Yes, we keep the knives and cleaners high and out of reach. Yes, we have a pretend kitchen in one corner of the real kitchen so that she can "cook" just like Mommy can.

The one thing that she loves to do in the kitchen is wash her hands. I'll turn the water on a trickle and pull the stool up to the sink. The kid will play in that little bit of dripping for hours. If there are dishes or some spoons in the sink, all the better. She'll mix potions and explore how much water each container can hold, including the floor. Grins all around. The nice thing is that she's right beside me while I cook and I physically can stand between her and the stove so she can't get burned.

Last night I was cooking a dinner of pork tenderloin chops in marinara sauce served over whole wheat penne pasta. While keeping and eye on the pasta, the marinara and the pork chops, I had my back to the baby. She contented herself in the sink, which by this point in the meal preparation, was full of dirty utensils and dishes. She was having a ball. Every now and then she'd pat me on the back and I'd make a show of being amazed with how when she turned the cup of water over, the cup would suddenly be empty -- like magic! These interruptions were frequent but nice. I was concentrating on not overcooking the chops and stirring the sauce when I felt her scratching on my back.

"Just a second, " more scratching, "I just have to flip this last chop over."

And that second later I turned around to see my 22 month old baby with my chef knife in her right hand and my small utility knife in her left hand. It was like in Dungeons and Dragons where your half-human/half-elf chaotic good thief will equip a sword in her right hand and a small dagger in her left. And since the attack was from behind the target, she gets a bonus dice roll for damage. My baby had been scratching me on my back with my knives! Thankfully her XP (experience) level is so low, her agility is so low (she's got immature motor skills), and her damage penalty is so high for equipping 2 weapons at once, she did no damage. I guess I have some pretty good AC (armor class) in this cotton nursing top.

No babies or mommies were harmed, I want to assure you. I think these were in her reach simply because I was using them to prepare the food. They went back up on the shelf over the sink and out of her reach and I gave her a whisk and a spoon to substitute for the scary sharp knives. She was happy with those and I was able to pat myself on the back for remaining calm and nonchalant so as not to freak her out.

So Mom, and all the Aunties & Uncles out there, don't you freak out. We're all fine. Really. Well, mostly.