Happy Birthday to George, the 15 year old beagle OR How to tell when it's really a party

George (photo by Robert)

Our neighbors know how to do it up right. Robert and India have a 15 year old beagle named George who has the absolute sweetest smile I have ever seen on a pooch. He is a true southern gentleman with a great doginality and delightful demeanor. He's a little hard of hearing, but when you're that advanced in age I think you can be forgiven such things.

For his 15th birthday, Robert & India decided to throw sweet George a birthday party. Like a lot of kid parties, it really was a gathering of pet parents and their dogs. We brought our Rat Terrier Holly to the festivities. There was a silky Dachshund who spent most of her time in her owners' arms because of a severe dislike of dogs who are larger than she which pretty much meant all the other dogs at the party. Life can be tough when you're little.  There was a personable ~45 pound Cocker Spaniel and an older Benji looking dog who simply kind of felt like he "ain't got time for that," regarding the silliness of the other dogs. There was the year old Wren, a Great Dane. I love that this ~170 pound dog was named after a tiny fragile song bird, but Wren couldn't have had a more gentle demeanor. She was inquisitive and loving. She spent a good portion of the evening trying to engage other dogs with a play stance. That really is something to see!

Wren with John for scale
(photo by India)

India had put a lot of thought to refreshments for the canine and human attendees to the party. She grilled beef burgers which had nothing but beef in them so that they would be dog safe. She washed low sodium bacon in water so that she could decrease the amount of salt in them and grilled them up. The trail mix she set out had peanut butter chips and Reese's pieces in lieu of raisins and chocolate. There were Bugles, corn chips and bean dip for the humans. We pulled beer bottles from a large tub of ice water which turned into an impromptu water bowl for some of the dogs, particularly Wren who could reach the bowl the easiest.

At some point in the evening, I had to leave to pick up my older daughter from her friend's house. I was gone perhaps a total of 20 minutes doing this errand. It was one of those cases of perfect timing.

I returned to the party to the scene of our hosts and party guests with mops and disinfectant. The merits of no-rinse wood floor cleaner were being debated for this bio-hazard type situation. I walked through the house to see that the pressure washer was being used on the deck. I'm pretty sure that wasn't a planned thing.

Like a reporter coming to the state only after a tornado has ripped all the homes off to Oz, I started asking around.

"Ah, you missed it..." just about every story started. The following is taken from first person accounts of the Event.

Miss Wren the Great Dane had eaten before she came to the party. Amounts of the kibble she was given varies according to some accounts. She had been fed upwards of 4 cups of kibble to a metric ton. This reporter is not entirely certain of these facts as she did not see the remains of the Event.

Sweet Wren, delicate thing that she is, started feeling a little off near the front door of the house. A witness claimed that he could see her neck muscles tense and an ungodly plunger like sound alerted all the party attendees that something was amiss. By all accounts, Wren never slowed her stride as she went from the entryway, through the living room, swiped by the kitchen, went through the dining room and out on the back deck. All the while, she spewed, nay splattered the floor and all surrounding areas with the tonnage of kibble, water, and lovely dog treats from the party like nearly full pieces of low sodium bacon and little hamburger patties.

The disbelief of the humans was only second to the disbelief of the other dog party go-ers at their good fortune. There was a literal buffet of dog food on the floor. The humans quickly called on their dogs to "leave it," in regards to the partially digested hamburger patties and bacon. In the dogs' defense, it was the first time they could have gotten their paws on those high level treats without the help of their humans. I hope each one of those dogs got a piece of bacon that hadn't already been inside of another dog as a reward for good behavior.

To give you an idea of the scale of the vomitus that dainty Wren made, Robert wisely got his snow shovel out of the garage to aid in clean up. India said that she couldn't believe that there was still any vomit capacity left in Wren after she left the house and yet there seemed to be exactly the same amount of vomitus on the back deck. My husband said it was as if somebody had a huge sack of wet dog kibble over his shoulder and opened a corner of it while running through the house.

Turns out that sometimes swallowing ice can make dogs throw up. Also, Great Danes have to be careful with having too much water at a sitting. For Wren in particular, she cannot drink unregulated because it does make her vomit. Add to that, she's only a year old and as such is still very much a puppy.

Many of the human party go-ers seemed a little frazzled but for me, I left directly before the Event and returned after all the drama had happened. The clean-up was efficient and effective. India had owned a Great Dane in the past so she's experienced. I can only enjoy the humor.

But hey, how many of us have been to a party where one of the celebrants had a little too much to drink and threw up all over the place?

It might, however, be the first time a snow shovel was used to clean it up.