Spillary, Bill's House

I've just returned from my caucus. I am still shaking from the experience. Shaking in a good way.

I talked to a regular caucus goer, an older lady who was sitting next to me. She said she went every 4 years since she could vote, and only missed the 2004 caucus. Anyway, she said that in her precinct she only had about 15 people come to caucus last time. This year there was more like 150. And in that sea of people, about 70% were voting for Barack Obama. 20% were for Hillary Clinton. 10% were still undecided. Can you believe that? Undecided! Out of my precinct, they even got a delegate. But I suppose, it is still a long way until the convention. And I just don't want a difficult contentious fight within the party. We need unity and depth.

Anyway, I was one of the 20%. I've supported Hillary Clinton since she declared her candidacy. I've heard Barack Obama speak and I swear, he makes my pulse race, my spirits rise, and my heart swell. He inspires. But I am pragmatic. I know that like in love, romance and roses eventually fade and what you are left with is substance. If there is nothing more than lyrics and poetry to base your relationship upon, then you are doomed.

I LIKE BARACK OBAMA. And should he get the nomination, I shall vote for him. I'll even rally for him. But I hope that he will start out to heal the rift in the party by holding out a hand to Hillary if he does win the nomination. I can see Hillary asking him to be her running mate. I cannot see Barack Obama doing the same.

And so today, I stepped far out of my comfort zone.

After 4 or 5 people spoke up for Barack Obama, a genuine love fest for him, and knowing that I was one of 23 in my precinct to support Hillary, I decided that I had to speak.

I could feel my heart racing the second I decided that. I knew I was going to stand up and as I addressed my neighbors, I shaked and trembled from all the adrenalin. I have never been afraid to speak publicly before, but never have I had to be the lone voice for a very small minority.

I opened with, "I'm addressing you from the unenviable position of being in the minority. I am speaking for Hillary Clinton."

A lot of it was a blur, but I did manage to say that she has 16 years of experience working for health care reform and that I am a nurse. I also managed to say that if you look at her subcommittees, she deals with matters of trade, finance, defense, and also childcare, healthcare and education. She's up to speed already with detailed plans of how she'd get things done. Her years as first lady, she was the face of our country to many foreigners. She is experienced with speaking to foreign dignitaries. She already knows where they keep the extra pillows and blankets at the White House. (Okay, I didn't say that last bit.) I ended with saying that I like Barack Obama. That if he is at the top of the ticket, I'll vote for him. But if I had my way, I'd have Hillary at the top of that ticket.

I didn't get booed. I did have a couple of people of the Obama camp try to get me to switch sides. Making arguments about electability and how polarizing a figure Hillary would be. But I am voting for whom I want, not trying to guess how others will vote. Plus, I don't get why people are so anxious to keep Bill Clinton away from the White House. Last time he lived there, we enjoyed 8 years of prosperity and peace, right? And he has Hillary's ear. Rock on, I say. I edited my remarks in my head so that I would not speak out against Barack Obama. If he gets the nomination, he gets my vote. I just want a little more seasoning on my president. We've had a handsome, young, charismatic but unseasoned president for the past 7 years. It hasn't worked out too well for us so far.

I'll probably get lots of anger about that last statement, but at least you'll comment. Right?

*Update -- the title of this post comes from an NPR feature of a group called the Capitol Steps. Here is a transcript of the program when my husband & I first heard of Spillary.