Sorry

Sorry is an interesting word. I've been thinking about it lately because there are many instances when this word would be appropriate. I try hard to be understood by other people. I try to be careful in the meanings of the words I choose to speak.

Sorry doesn't have to be the hardest word.

The other day, my son was tossing the ball with my dog while we were watching a movie as a family. My daughter had set a coffee mug on the piano bench, a coffee mug that was part of a set I had received as a present from my husband for my birthday last year. When predictably, my dog jumped for the ball and knocked it with her nose to hit the coffee mug and sent it crashing to the floor, I was upset.

My son refused to say he was sorry. I get that he thought it was an accident. He said that the dog hit the ball and it in turn hit the cup, so he was unapologetic. My dog for her part was properly apologetic. She came up to me, ears folded back, big eyes begging forgiveness and climbed in my lap for kisses. My daughter said she was sorry also since she had left the cup to bring up to the kitchen later.

In this case, saying you're sorry could have meant, "I know it was an accident, so it's not exactly my fault, but I'm sad that your cup is now broken. I see that it upsets you that the cup is broken so I feel compassion for your loss." See, would that have been so bad? For example, when you hear that somebody's grandpa died and you say, "I'm so sorry," you're not saying that you killed Grandpa and are responsible. You're saying that it is sad that Grandpa is dead and that you know that the person is upset by that. You are displaying compassion.

Another weird misunderstanding of the word, "sorry." A friend of mine was looking for new work as his present place of employment had become a hostile work environment. He had a very promising interview but in the end, didn't get the job. When he told me, I said, "I'm so sorry." To which he replied, "No need to apologize. It wasn't your fault."

See, again, here I was using the word, "sorry," as a way to express compassion for my friend's disappointment with not getting the job. I wasn't trying to claim blame for him not getting the job nor did I think I had anything to do with him not getting that job. It isn't as if I called the interviewer and told her not to hire him. I didn't drive him to the interview and get him there late. I didn't spill mustard all over his suit before the interview so that he smelled like a hotdog. See, those infractions would have merited his statement of, "no need to apologize." I was NOT apologizing. I was expressing compassion.

So because I'm not feeling terribly creative. I'm not going to put a button on this essay.

Sorry.