TMI

This whole post is going to be tmi (too much information) for everybody. That's right, everybody. Consider yourself well warned. This information can be potentially embarrassing for me, but I write this as a lesson to my friends mostly. I can overshare. That's just who I am. But I'm several weeks removed from the embarrassing situations. I've gained enough distance to see the humor. Mostly.

Last month, we went on vacation. It was during the mid-winter break. Leaving the cold, dreary, wet weather of the PNW for the sunny skies of Los Angeles sounded like the perfect pick me up. Truly, couldn't have been happier to do this. Plus, visiting with my husband's family was very important. It had been about 2 years since we'd seen them last. Far too long.

I was envisioning walks on the beach, lounging at the pool, soaking in the hot tub. Instead my period came 3 days early -- on the second of the six days we were going to be there.

Swear words.

I was going to visit with one of my friends who I rarely see as he lives in a different state. We were friends in high school but recently reconnected over Facebook. We've become very good friends, skyping a few times a week. We went out on our shopping foray and I told him that I needed to go to the drugstore at some point. He suggested GNC or something else that might be in the mall. I told him that a Rite Aid or CVS would be fine. When we got there, I suggested that he wait in the car. I'd just be a second. No, he said. I'll come with you, he said.  Fine. I told him that the only way I was going to be able to get through this is if I thought of him as my gay friend. Then I'd be okay. He told me that he's not gay. He's married, so what's the big deal? Have you ever tried shopping for you favorite brands of feminine hygiene stuffs when there's a guy there that's not your kid, brother or spouse? I'm guessing not. It's not fun. Especially when they don't carry your usual stuff. You can't leisurely read the packages to see what's even close because you're embarrassed. And every woman out there has a very tried and true combination of products that work. Finding my combo with him standing there was just... well, awkward.

Swear words.

So I texted one of my best friends this:

Me: How lucky am I that my period came 3 days early? No fair. 3:56 PM

Her: Ok I will let my mom know. This is T (her 11 year old daughter) 3:56 PM

Me: This isn't J's phone anymore? Don't worry about it T. Do me a favor and delete the message. 3:58 PM

Swear words.

I should be able to commiserate with my girl friends. That's what they're for! Turns out, T was waiting in the car so J let her play Angry Birds on her cell phone, or something inane like that. So embarrassing! J assured me that T doesn't have any idea what I meant, but surely she'd figure it out soon enough. Yeah, right. I'm certain this bloody initiation into adulthood is all the tweens are talking about. I know from experience that it was a big damn deal when I was 11 years old. 

So what can we learn from my day of awkwardness?

1. If a woman asks you to wait outside a store any store, instead of go inside with her, stay outside. 

2. Don't lend other people your phone. Just don't. 

PSA over. Peace out.