Karaoke lessons learned

After ages of begging anybody who would listen to go to a karaoke bar with me, I've gone twice in as many weeks. 

Truth is, the first time it was completely by accident. My friend Elvie just wanted me to have a margarita the size of my head:  the big gulp equivalent of margaritas from Just Tacos in Pearl City. I asked if we could go karaoke, but Elvie & Grace said no. Boogers. How serendipitous that the night we went was karaoke night?With Grace & Elvie, I thought for sure they could channel their inner filipinas. When the karaoke binders went around, they both started protesting about how they don't sing. Really? Don't they know that the filipinos favorite pastimes are line dancing, ballroom dancing, and KARAOKE??? Hell, they disappointed me by not even toasting with "Mabuhay!" and instead said, "Cheers!" If you'd seen these girls, you know they're brownies from Waipahu just like me. However, Grace managed to point out a pretty good song to start with. Of the 4 songs I did that night, it was the only one that I didn't have to prompt people to clap after I was done. She suggested the theme from the show"Friends." You know, the clap, clap, clap, clap song? 

The next time I went was with my supper club friends. Sadly, of the 4 women who should have gone, one got sick and the other had a scheduling conflict. I tried to get other friends of mine to go but I think they were all afraid of my karaoke prowess. Kidding. Actually, they were probably more afraid of my whining to get them to sing too. 

But this post is supposed to be about karaoke newb lessons learned so here goes:

1. Do pick songs that are uptempo and which were played repeatedly in its prime. You'll have a better chance of remembering how to sing the lyrics and not just the chorus.
2. Do pick popular songs on which people will sing along with you. People like to sing along. Think "Lion Sleeps Tonight," or "Working 9 - 5."
3. In Hawaii, the country songs are not readily recognizable. Try out the Hawaiian section instead. Otherwise your friends will say, "I've never heard that song before." You'll have to remind them to clap. 
4. On the mainland, there is no Hawaiian section. Or Tagalog for that matter.
5. Karaoke lists are generally a couple of months or years behind. You'll have to dig deep into your memory banks.
6. Know at least the first line of the song. If you only know the chorus, you'll stumble through until you get to the part that you know. 
7. Uber sappy love songs are not as fun to listen to, even though they're a little easier to sing. Think funny first. 
8. If you are a woman and try to sing a song originally sung by a man, it might be harder to find the right pitch. At least for me and my mediocre singing skills. I'm thinking it is probably the same for men too.
9. If you attempt hip/hop, KNOW YOUR LYRICS AHEAD OF TIME. Nobody can read, process, and rap that fast. Nobody. 
10. Don't choose a song that goes on too long (Bohemian Rhapsody) or is atonal (don't have an example but the one that was attempted last night by somebody was so hard to listen to, the singer hid behind the room divider until it was over.)
11. Go early so you can get your friends properly likkered up. By the end of our time at Just Tacos, Elvie and Grace sang along using a mic. Seriously.

Okay, that's my karaoke wisdom so far. Feel free to add more if you have some. 

Until then, may Debbie Gibson and Tiffany continue to grace your karaoke performances for years to come. They will mine. Buahahahaha....