It most certainly will blend

I kind of want to start out this post by saying that I am not a lecherous old woman. That probably isn't the best way to start out a story in which I'm drooling over smoothies and a particular smoothie maker at the Costco, but I needed to put that out there. You can disagree with me if you like but I know in my heart that I'm still a good girl.

Last week Friday, yes, I appreciate that it was Good Friday, I went shopping with my friend Sharon at Costco. We were stocking up for our Easter festivities. Sharon was going to be hosting an Easter egg hunt and then we were going to have supper together. Good wholesome family fun. Because of this, Costco had pulled out all stops. A lot of people had Good Friday off so the place was jam packed. There were dozens of vendors sampling candies, roasts, desserts, hors d'oeuvres, and beverages. It was a bonanza. Lil'T was in foraging bliss. And right across the way from the produce aisle was the Blendtec booth.

Blendtec is the company made famous by a series of YouTube videos called, "Will It Blend?" Thing is, I love these blenders. I've had mine for about 3 years now. The thing is a workhorse. It makes breakfast smoothies from start to clean up in less than 5 minutes, which makes me get on with my day faster. Always a good thing. It crushes ice like all the other blenders claim to be able to do. They don't even come close. 3 horse power, baby! But for all that power on your kitchen counter, you need to pony up (see what I did there?) about $400. It is a lot to ask for when a lesser blender can cost you about $50. *cough* Magic Bullet *cough*

Blendtec has figured out what car companies have known for decades. You want to sell your outrageously priced convertible sports car to some middle aged dude with more money than sense, then put it next to a hot chick. This does not mean that the car is lesser somehow. I'm sure it can go fast. But if you want to convince a guy that he needs to get the job of tooling down the highway done in that fancy car versus an economical hybrid, you put a pretty young thing next to that car and pretty soon the guy is signing away the kids' college money.

The demo guy was whole fruit juicy. Unlike the car show girls, he was not wearing a swimsuit or even a tuxedo. He was dressed in chinos, baseball cap, and long sleeved polo shirt. All Blendtec approved apparel. But on his frame it was blenderlicious. Clearly the boy worked out. And tanned. And he *made* you want to have a smoothie.

So aside from that, he was demonstrating my favorite appliance in my kitchen. I had remembered that my friend Julia had recently broken her sorry excuse for a blender. She has a history of coveting my kitchen appliances. She's even borrowed my Kitchenaid mixer. After she had used it, she threatened not to return it without a ransom. Problem is, once your eyes have been opened to what a good amount of power can do for you in the kitchen, you can't go back to your "sold in the Rite Aid next to the baby wipes" type of appliance. You'll want power that you don't just turn on. You wield.

I'd seen the Blentec demonstration a few times since I had gotten my blender. Since Julia's blender was broken, I had a reason to go ask the Blendtec guy a question about what was in the box, what sized carafe was included, etc. All under the umbrella of being a helpful friend. I texted her the 411 and since there was only one more day of Blentec at Costco, I wanted to pick one up for her if she needed it. Sharon asked what was the difference between her Oster (laughable) blender and the Blendtec.

Dude, is there any better excuse to have to watch the whip me/frap me demo guy do is pitch?

I sauntered over there with Lil'T in tow, and said that I had a friend who needed convincing. I had made his day.

"It is better for me to just show you rather than try to tell you how this blender is better than the one you have at home..."

This was great. I had a front row pass to pulsemaster demo guy. I could soak in all the handsome dude goodness and not seem too lecherous. Slowly a crowd began to form. There were about 15 people there. There were 2 kids, one dude, and the rest were women. Well played Blendtec, well played.

One gal behind me started asking questions. "When you're blending whole fruit, can you put in the whole thing, or should you peel them?"

"Depends on which kinds."

"Well, take bananas for instance..." I want you to read that in the most sultry and suggestive tone that you can muster. The poor demo guy. Sure, I was enjoying the view but I wasn't trying to flirt. He answered her questions and while the blender was running that same gal said, "I think I understand but I might need an in home demonstration." At this point, just about every woman in the crowd laughed. Blender dude was blissfully ignorant. At least I hope he was.

We were mid-tortilla soup demo when Lil'T lost her patience. At her height, her head was just about level with the motor of the blender and with our front row view, she was unhappy about the noise. I promised her that in the end he would be making ice cream so she was content to wait out the ridiculously long demo for ice cream. Her hands were firmly placed over her ears. Oh the things she will endure for ice cream.

At last it was ice cream time. He started out pretty good. He made almond milk using almonds and water and the Blendtec. Then he added agave syrup (yuck--90% fructose) and ice cubes. Still acceptable from Lil'T's point of view. It was when he put in spinach that she turned around and looked at me with daggers in her eyes. Poor girl. But it was still ice cream, right? She did take the sample but told me later that she would never eat spinach ice cream ever again in her life. I don't blame her.

Sharon did ultimately buy a blender. She opted for red. Blenderlicious demo guy mentioned that red was really popular and he was sure he would sell out shortly. It is no mystery as to why red is selling out faster than the staid black or traditional white. He had whipped these women up into a frenzy (punny yet?) and red is the color of desire and passion. Shoot, isn't that why all those sports cars out there are red?