Mommy, wow! I'm a big kid now!

I tell this story a lot because it was one of those great, "I'm a grown up now," moments for me. A few months before we got married, I made my then fiancé sit down with me to write some goals. Here are the important facts when I recall this event to all the people who will sit still enough to hear it.

1. I wrote out long term plans to 11 years because there was only room for 11 years on the piece of paper.

2. My fiancé was so uncomfortable with making such a plan or selecting goals for our life together that the entire time, he insisted on playing the guitar. He said, "They're only arpeggios -- I can do that robotically." But he's *never* picked up the guitar since. I swear!

3. We met most of our goals on time. First child while I was 27. First house with the first kid. Degrees finished and jobs taken. The 2 things on my list that I didn't accomplish were getting my masters degree while pregnant with the second child seeing as I would have so much free time; and learning to speak Spanish using home study materials. Again, I was supposed to have done that while I was pregnant because I just would have so much free time. Remember, I wrote the goals when I was 24 and had never been pregnant.

4. This is the most important part of the story. About 1 week after we did this... or rather, I threatened & cajoled and he endured, he got a letter from his dad. This was one of those letters that a dad writes to his soon-to-be-married son. It was full of advice and reflection. But what made me so pleased was that one of the gems my father-in-law told his son was that we should sit down and make some long term goals. It was gorgeous validation for me. GORGEOUS!

My husband still has that disdain for long term goals. I cannot brag and say that I sit down every year and make goals, because truthfully, we've gone the last 2 years without the help of our 11 year plan. So I decided that 2008 would be the one. This would be the year that I would get those goals out on paper and make things happen.

I did manage to get him to sit down with me early on the 1st. It was good. Unfortunately, I happened to be next to my computer at the time and I saw that one of my favorite YouTube channels had posted their last blog of 2007. They always say that the first step is admitting you have a problem. I have a problem. I'm addicted to YouTube. So I watched the 3 minute post while my husband's sat and waited. I almost lost him right there.

After that misstep, I was worried that it was all over. Shockingly, he didn't leave. So I got out a few sheets of paper and titled them with the following headers.

1. Entertainment Goals (vacations, camping trips, pursuit of hobbies)
2. Personal Goals (this is stuff most people put on their New Year's Resolutions sheet)
3. Professional Goals
4. Household Goals (home remodeling, repair, organization)
5. Financial Goals (savings for college, retirement, ways to increase revenue)
6. Charitable Giving Goals (including time, talent & treasure)
7. Family Goals (goals for the kids, enrichment classes)
8. Long Term Goals

You might think that Entertainment Goals are a silly thing to put first. You must understand that it was my spoonful of sugar -- you know, like in Mary Poppins? He needed that spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. It would be nice to put the big vacations on the board so we don't have another year where we get disappointed that we didn't bring the kids to various places. I figure, if you don't plan for those things, you'll never get around to doing them. So this year we are planning to visit my new nephew in Northern California. Then we'll go visit his folks and sister in Southern California with all the great theme parks too. And during the summer, we'll take a big camping trip with some friends. Lastly, we will winter in Hawaii or maybe Northern California again. That decision is yet to be made.

Also on the entertainment page, we've penciled in game nights, date nights, birthday celebrations & supper club nights. I just think it is important to cultivate all the relationships we've got.

On the personal goals page, I decided to make a commitment to my writing. I do like writing. I think I'm funny and entertaining. I find my writing refreshing, clever and insightful. And I think you probably do too. So I'm committed to write a blog entry at least once a week. I've also committed to write some kind of narrative -- essay, short story, novella, book, outline, character summary -- on the days I am not blogging.

A couple of months ago my son was bugging me to use the computer. I told him he had to wait because I was working on a short story. He told me, "Why? You never finish anything you write. If it were me, I would have finished that story and moved on by now." My initial reaction was to scold him for being disrespectful. But then I realized that I resembled that remark. I can't tell you how many stories I've started and just never finished. But no more. This is my goal. I shall write daily. This will be the year that I finish a story.

So now, after you've read this post, you're supposed to reflect on it and then give me advice. Post a comment. Suggest something for one of the goal sheets. You may even suggest a character for a story I may write. It may just get there and when it happens, you can say you were the one who suggested it. Seriously, I'd give you your props.

Maybe for your own goal sheet, you should write something about commenting on Tess's blog every now and then. What do you think about that?