Summer Vacation 2007, pt 5

AND THEN THERE WAS THE MESS ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY

According to my husband, he told Cindy that we would be at her house on Thursday. But by my calculation, we were going to be at her house on Wednesday. As it was Wednesday and we were very close to her town.

"No, Tess, yesterday was Wednesday and today is Thursday."

"I'm sorry you think that, honey, but today is Wednesday. Yesterday was Tuesday."

"You're so mixed up, Tess. Today is Thursday."

"Honey, if yesterday was Wednesday, why were we able to get the Pasta Tuesday special at Boston Pizza yesterday?"

Unable to answer my question, he had to concede the point. He did not admit that he was wrong, because that does not ever happen. But he did concede that Boston Pizza clearly had made a mistake when they gave us the special on the wrong day.

So when we showed up on Wednesday evening, it could have been a disaster. Because of the mixed up days, Gerry's cousin and his wife were also spending the night at Cindy and Gerry's house. They were due to depart on Thursday so there would have been no overlap if my husband's days were right. They graciously gave up the room they were sleeping in and let us have it. My son was in hog heaven sleeping with his 3 boy cousins all around his age. As we made our way into McClennan, and we were greeted by nephews by the sides of the road. They were standing on street corners and running after our car as we drove by. Quite a welcome wagon!

DANGEROUSLY GOOD LOOKING

Cindy and Gerry do go on and on about how beautiful it is up there. And it truly is "God's country," as Cindy calls it. But then in the next breath, Gerry talked about the strange neighbor who owns the 2 vicious dogs that he goads into scaring the neighborhood children. And then he talked about the guy who survived a mountain lion attack by hugging the creature, working his hand towards his hunting knife, and managing to stab it before it mauled him. And then he told about the guy who got attacked by a bear and ultimately managed to get away after delivering fatal stab wounds to the bear with his hunting knife. All this happened pretty close to their neighborhood. I was thinking that I needed to arm my family with some hunting knives.

And then there are the bugs. Cindy says that she's gotten used to it now. She has special wiper fluid to deal with the bugs because they get splattered on the cars. No one ever breathes with their mouths open because of the high protein content of the air on summer evenings. There are scary hairy caterpillars that walk across the road as you drive by. Gerry said that they get so thick sometimes that one year they stopped the train. The tracks had gotten so slick from squished caterpillars, the train was unable to go up a slope from slippage. And Gerry warned us that the caterpillars should not be handled because their "fur" has the same properties as fiberglass.

ONE LESS THING OFF THE "MUST DO BEFORE I DIE" LIST

The next day (Thursday for the rest of the world but Friday for my husband) we found Gerry at work so we could fulfill my husband's fondest childhood dream. Gerry works for the city in road maintenance. He drives a huge Caterpillar grader. Ever since he was a young boy, my husband has wanted to drive a grader. He said it is because as a child he imagined that the grader looked the most like a stegosaurus. I don't really understand this testosterone driven desire to move earth. It's a guy thing. It really was a joy to see him grinning as he rode down the gravel road with Gerry.

THE QUEST FOR BIRTHDAY CAKE

Cindy's boss, Leona, from the Christian Bookstore, was throwing a big end of summer party at her farm on Saturday. They were also celebrating the baptism of Melissa, her daughter's nanny. Leona, knowing that Gerry's birthday was coming up, suggested that they make it a surprise birthday party for him as well. So Cindy and I were off to find a cake. There are 2 grocery stores in Falher. When we went to the first one's bakery, we discovered that the shelves were bare. The baker was on vacation. So we went to the second store. Cindy placed her order and all was well. Until we got the phone call the following day that the baker was going on vacation on Friday -- so the cake would not be done. What are the chances? I think that the 2 grocery stores really need to provide coverage for each other. There should be 1 baker in the city at all times. I mean, they do it for doctors. Why can't they do it for bakers? Ultimately Cindy was able to get her friend Giselle to pick a cake up from Grand Prairie. Their baker wasn't invited to the Falher bakers' vacation, apparently.

BEAR BAIT

On Friday (hubby's Saturday), we went to a beautiful freshwater lake. I'm sure Cindy will comment with the name of the lake but I can't remember. We grilled up burgers and roasted marshmallows. Even though Gerry said he had grown up just a couple of kilometers from there and had never seen a bear at that park, I still kept looking over my shoulder. Seriously, we were roasting marshmallows! What bear can resist marshmallows, especially after having a feast of tasty Americans?

We walked out to the lake where my nephew, Cameron, spotted hundreds of shrews hiding under rocks. I didn't see them myself, but I'm sure they were there. We also saw some pelicans on the water and a sunset melting into the water. The reflection of the waning day on the still water made the horizon almost indiscernible, so the water from the lake seemed to flow into the heavens. Several people were fishing, which made hubby very nervous. He has a phobia about fish hooks. Something about having to push the barbed ones through should you get one stuck in your finger or your eye. This is because pulling it out would cause even more tissue damage. I guess I have a phobia about them too in that sense. The mosquitoes were out in force that evening and just so you know, those mosquitoes consider DEET to be seasoning on humans, not a repellent.

DEPORTATION

On the way back, Cameron rode in our car with our son. We were talking about the Canadian National Anthem because Cam's older brother Sam had sung it at the opening of a business in McClennan. Sam has a beautiful voice -- like the ping from good crystal. Cam said he thought he could sing it too, so long as we sang along with him.

"Sorry Cam, we can't sing it."

"Why not?"

"We're Americans. It's against the law for us to sing the Canadian National Anthem. If the crossing agents find out we did sing it, they won't let us back in."

Long pause. "Really?"

Gravely, my son said, "Really. It's true Cameron." Short pause. "Wait, is it true, Mom?"

Hubby and I couldn't hold it in any longer and busted up laughing. But when we got home, Cameron was still a little unsure. He asked his dad, who without missing a beat, told him with all seriousness that it is against the law for Americans to sing the Canadian National anthem and vice versa. And while we all joined in and sang both anthems, Cameron was having a fit. We all assured him that nobody would tell the authorities, and we all could stay in our respective countries. But oh no! I've just posted this on a public blog. Oops!

WILDLIFE CAN BE BEAUTIFUL AND YUMMY

Saturday we woke up to moose sausage. Yup, what Canadian vacation could possibly be complete without moose sausage? Some of Gerry's friends had hunted a moose that season and had to empty out their freezer to make room for the new moose. This was great for us. Moose sausage is AWESOME!!! It made every moment of driving on the unfinished roads, splattering countless insects, enduring endless hours of "S/he's looking at me!" in the car. Yes, it was that good. I told Cindy that I wanted more of that and she said I could have as much as I want so long as I came up to McClennan to get it. I'm planning the next trip.

Moose was also used very cleverly by my sister-in-law to entice us into staying longer than we had planned. Every day she said that she'd make a moose roast for dinner, but strangely, every evening she ended up making something else or we'd end up eating some place else. She promised me the moose roast and managed to get us to stay through Monday so we could eat it. Let me tell you, it was worth the wait. Moose is delicious.

On Sunday, we got to meet a lot of Cindy's in-laws at church and some of her church family. My daughter met twin 6 year old girls who were absolutely adorable and gave her good girl playdate time. After church, my daughter went to their house for an afternoon of playing. She's trying to keep in touch by email. Cindy's friend Dar came over to the house bearing an enormous amount of chai tea. This girl takes her tea very seriously -- and it was fabulous. I tell you, Cindy has some really great friends in this little community. Later that afternoon, we went out to Gerry's folk's farm where Gerry's nephew has set up a paintball field. It is complete with old combines and rusting out cars which make great hiding places and sniper lookouts. While the boys were out doing that, Cindy and I were visiting with her in-laws, Lucille and Maurice. We had a great time playing a card game -- something about a witch. Maurice and Cindy were absolutely merciless to Lucille and me -- they beat us bloody! But we had a great time and I got to brush up on my high school French.

On Monday, my eldest nephew Blake had to go to Grand Prairie for a doctor's visit. I have to tell you, the kid is only 13 years old but he's already taller than me. And I know you all are snickering that it isn't much of a feat to get taller than me, I should mention that he's almost 5'10. That's pretty impressive by normal mortal standards. But I guess it isn't all that impressive considering that my own husband was 5 feet tall in kindergarten. I married a mutant. Back to Grand Prairie. I tagged along so I could go grocery shopping with Cindy. I bought candy bribes for my kids anticipating the drive home.

More to come.