Uncle Nofre

It isn't really right for me to have two posts back to back with the same title. After all, it has only been a week. But this writing is to tell you that my heart is broken. Uncle Nofre passed away this morning.

To say that he was so very well loved, it doesn't really match the magnitude of this man. I have no doubt that he will be mourned by countless hearts. I'm sure he was a celebrity. He certainly was one to us. A few months ago, he told me that he never used to regret never marrying and having children until now in his old age. How he never had kids of his own. I reminded him that every single one of his nieces and nephews believed him to be a father to us. The grandkids always thought of him as Apo.

When Uncle came to visit for Lil' T's baptism, we went shopping. He was holding her in his arms and cooing at her face. A woman came up to him and said, "You sure look like a proud grandpa." And instead of correcting her, he just said, "I do, don't I?" We were all his children.

I'm sorry I can't be eloquent this morning. I'm typing through tears. I thought that maybe it would be easier to tell everybody at once this way. A friend of mine reminded me that he's probably catching up with my dad right now, talking about the kids and how cute the grandbabies are. So I'll find comfort in that.

Bye Uncle. I love you.

Uncle Nofre

My mother called me last night with the words, "Uncle Nofre is going to the emergency room by ambulance."

Thank God I was sitting down already when I answered the phone. The last time she told me that one of my uncles was going to an emergency room by ambulance, the outcome was not good.

Turns out that Uncle Nofre was feeling some shortness of breath and called Dr. Gaby, his GP. Anyway, Gaby told him to call an ambulance. Uncle protested saying that he could drive to the hospital. Can you believe that??? Oh Uncle! Anyway, she protested and Uncle relented. The ambulance took him to the hospital. My mother was notified and got on the phone to let the family know what was going on.

My cousin Lydia met Uncle at the emergency room. Thanks Lydia. That was really a relief to have you there. I hope that you weren't too inundated with phone calls. I imagine that must have been difficult -- especially with my mother giving everybody your mobile number so we could call you and ask how things were going.

Tests were run and Uncle was discharged into Aunty Snuffy's care. I'm sending out a plea for prayers for Aunty Snuffy because now she'll have the 2 brothers to take care of under one roof. Patience and love, patience and love. And when those fail: beer and poke, beer and poke.

Thankfully it wasn't a heart attack or something more dire. With luck, his condition can be handled with some changes in his medicine regimen and diet.

So please, send healing prayers for Uncle Nofre. And just in case, beer and poke never hurt nobody.

Ding dong, ding dong

I remember when I was a little kid, I couldn't wait for Christmas. God, there was just so much anticipation and excitement. I used to be able to sing "Silver Bells," to myself and find tingly warmth in my heart all of a sudden -- all those Christmas warm goodness came rushing in all at once.

Now, I feel like Christmas is a major term paper or school project that I just haven't finished. It is all in stages. There's the requirement of bringing the kids to the Christmas in the Country horse rides. Extra credit for bringing apples or carrots for the horses. If you miss the deadline, there is no make-up because there is only one day for that. Then there is the Santa Pictures that is a required component of the assignment. There are only 2 weekends that allow you to get that done. For extra credit you can order pictures and send to the family. I've missed the extra credit for the past couple of years. Then there is the optional project of sending out Christmas cards for which you must write a newsletter. The newsletter can be done in November but the actual mailing tends to fall by the wayside. I've got cards addressed and stamped from 2 years ago. I have to add stamps to them to send them because the postage has gone up twice since I didn't send those cards out. Of course there is the compounded guilt when I get Christmas cards from family and friends. There have been less of those because I've missed sending out cards for the past 2 years. The advent wreath assignment is particularly tricky because I've been foiled in the past by the general unpopularity of pink and purple taper candles. Either everybody else has cleared them out or I'm not looking in the right place. There is also the looming deadline of getting presents and shopping done. Because all family live far from us, we've got to consider shipping times. There are no easy wish lists for our relatives and I hate the guileless present of money (although it is my fall back position) so there is much agonizing over what to get. Plus there is the added bonus of my husband's birthday coming on the 9th of December. This means that I've got to plan some kind of birthday celebration in the middle of all this holiday stuff. There is also the assignment of putting up the trees and decorating. This part of the project must be done the day after Thanksgiving and no sooner. There is the daily task of making sure that the Wise Men are making their way to the Baby Jesus. This goes on for ages because they don't make it to Him until Epiphany. Thankfully we're not terribly popular people so there aren't a plethora of Christmas parties to go to. That would mean I'd have to shop for a Christmas outfit on top of everything else. Who knew this Christmas magic assignment was so hard?

I think I may get a failing grade.

Then there is the part of Christmas that hurts my heart every year. Unpacking the Christmas books and seeing the one that Dad read to Riker right before he went to take his shower. There is the unexpected listening to "O Little Town of Bethlehem" on the radio -- the song Dad was singing when he was walking behind me as we went to receive the Eucharist. There is the memory of my teasing him that there was no way I wanted to leave home for Christmas the following year. He made the plea to the whole family that we all go to his house for the next Christmas. We did, but not the way he wanted. There is unpacking the snowball candle that was a gift from my friend Sharon. When Dad died, we lit that candle every evening while we prayed the rosary for him. He was even in on moving the Wise Men around the living room. That last morning, he was singing "We Three Kings." I flew into a panic because I had forgotten to aid them on their journey. I remember trying to shush Dad, but I didn't know that he had already moved them for me. I remember him getting out his uke and playing every morning. Before, I used to sit with him and learn while he played, but that year, with the busy Christmas season, I missed my opportunity for a good jam session with him. It is funny, I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday but I have absolute clarity of the weeks before Dad died. I know that it would make my father incredibly sad to know that Christmas is forever altered for my family and me. He loved this time of year.

Right now I have just finished reading what I wrote. The part of me that likes each of my essays to have a clear direction and theme can't stand what I've written. It is disjointed -- light in the beginning and sad towards the end. Heck, what do you call this part? But I think this is what Christmas has become for me. I'm still disjointed. I find the joy of the season through my kids -- getting glimpses of their magical anticipation of the day. And then I feel the mourning that Christmas has come to represent for me. I spend the whole season in this emotional ping pong game -- with the abundant busyness of the season to distract me.

And so I'm off to shop today -- get Princess the Magic Bullet blender she saw on TV and just must have. I need to plan the next couple of days -- packing our schedule with horses, pictures and even a birthday party. At least this is better than the assignment from Jan. 1.

Taxes.

The new world order

I apologize that I have not been able to post for awhile. See, my husband has installed a filtering program for our internet access (don't ask). It has disabled my ability to access the posting tab of Blogspot. So I'm checking to see if this will work. I'm going to be emailing posts directly to my website and then they will hopefully be posted immediately. Sad part is that there will be no editing after I hit that send key. That is okay though. I'm used to that kind of hair trigger email send button.

Haddon Elves

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Cousins

Lil'T and I have just returned from Hawaii. We went to stay with Mom while she recovered from surgery. While it was unfortunate for us to have to go to Hawaii for that reason, it was good to visit with friends & family. My cousin Sham had us over for Halloween. Her 3 kids and Lil'T went trick or treating together. Sham dressed her kids as Santa, Frosty & an Elf. You might think that my cousin got the holiday wrong but I suspect that her Ilocano roots were showing -- why by 2 sets of costumes when you can reuse them for 2 holidays instead? Brilliant! Lil'T was about the same size (actually a little taller) than her 5 year old boy cousin. Eh, that happens when you're 1/2 Filipino and 1/2 Japanese. This past summer we visited my brother and his family in San Francisco. His kids are about 1/4 Filipino and 3/4 Chinese. Despite Lil'T being about 6 months younger than her twin cousins, she towers over them. I wonder where she gets that height? I hope she doesn't develop a complex. She doesn't seem that much bigger than her haole classmates at preschool.

One of Lil'T's favorite things to do with me is read books. I think this is the part where I characterize her as being an exceptional learner, bound for greatness -- heck, she can even aspire to the 2nd highest office in the land if she wants. But only aspire. We girls need to learn our place. *sigh* Only time will tell. And like thousands of other 3 year old kids out there, she loves Dora. We have a book called Dora's World Adventure. I have learned recently that the devious kid programmers who make Dora the Explorer have also made a music cd and dvd of this book. They have made it unsafe to walk through the video aisle at Safeway. Thankfully, Lil'T is still too young to go to any music stores on her own.

In this adventure, Dora and Swiper take us on a magical journey around the world -- visiting France, Tanzania, Russia and China. In each place we see a picture of kids from that area and learn how to say hello to them in their native tongue. Very cute to hear Lil'T say, "bonjour," in her 3-year old toddler accent. But the very best part was turning the page to Dora's journey to China. Pictured were 5 or 6 Chinese kids -- short, brown, dark haired and slanty eyed. To which Lil'T commented, "Look at all the cousins." It took me a beat to figure out what she was saying. But I guess when all the kids you meet on your travels are brown, have dark hair and slanty eyes, and are called cousins by your mom, that must be the word for them.

Ni hao Cousins!

What's Happening?

Today I went to my first Zumba! class. I think you're supposed to have an exclamation mark on the end of the word because it is just such a happy class. So much fun. I actually had a blast.

But I'm not in shape.

Well, as my friend Steve likes to say, "I'm in shape. Round is a shape."

So next to the teeny tiny energizer bunny instructor, I felt like a blimp. A very nimble blimp though. Dude, I may be fat but I still can dance.

So when my friend Julia asked me what I thought of the class, I told her to recall an old sitcom character that we both grew up watching. I told her that seeing myself dance in Zumba! class reminded me of watching Rerun from What's Happening?

But I always think of that Hallmark-y quote that says, "Sing like nobody can hear you and Dance like nobody is looking."

So I am dancing like I'm wearing a beret and suspenders. But I'm having a great time and I'll even let you watch if you like.