My speech from Uncle's burial service

I did not think I'd give this speech so soon. I should have had at least another decade or two to organize my thoughts. A man so famous for his tardiness should not have been so early to enter heaven.

Uncle always styled himself as a Don Juan, and even introduced himself as "Ono" as in "tastes good." He was a real heart breaker and looking at all of us, I see that he was right. Our hearts are broken.

Uncle and I talked about his funeral a few months ago. It was a conversation full of laughter. He hoped there wouldn't be too much weeping -- especially because he loved the sound of laughing. We talked about him recording himself telling a few jokes. He told me about his joke with Verna and Felicia -- his fellow Pilipino Passion Puppets -- that when they come for the viewing, to look real close. He promised to smile.

For most of us, we touch the future by marrying and having children. But Uncle Nofre chose a different path, instead his legacy is borne in the generosity of his heart -- cultivating every relationship in his life -- with friends, co-workers, church family, classmates, fellow dancers -- and with family.

I'm sure my cousins and my brothers have said how Uncle was a second father to us. But what is remarkable is how this unspoken fact was acknowledged in our lives.

When my brilliant and handsome husband and I were preparing for the birth of our first child -- a boy -- he suggested we name him after Uncle Nofre. After all the heavy handed hints Uncle Nofre had made, we decided to go ahead provided my dad approved -- after all, this was to be his first grandson. Dad gave his permission without hesitation, saying, "Onofre would really like that."

When my cousin Shamayn was planning her wedding, she wanted Uncle to walk her down the aisle with her dad. It is the quintessential father/daughter moment. Sham told her parents of her intention -- and not only did they approve -- they were thrilled. Uncle was so proud to be involved in that way.

You see, his brothers knew and acknowledged Uncle's role in our lives. His siblings appreciated and gave credence to his role as a second father to us. He maintained this relationship through the generosity of his spirit, always freely given and joyfully received.

When Dad died, also at Christmastime -- seriously, I could go all bah-humbug on the season if You keep this up, Lord -- Uncle Nofre stepped in quickly with the generosity of his time to help our family. In the intervening years he stepped up - unbegrudgingly - bringing us to and from the airport, spending time with us, and driving Mom and Aunty Lydia (his brothers' widows) to their appointments.

The last time we saw each other in October of this year, he lamented to me that my youngest child did not know him very well. That she wasn't in his words "used to to" him. I want to assure him that I shall remember him to my children. I shall strive to love them and love life in his example. And that as an aunt, I shall always give toys, not clothes, and will always, always have gum.