My goal for my 40th year

I've been reflecting a lot on envelopes. I think that a lot of the best ideas that people have are often scribbled on the backs of envelopes or napkins. These are scraps of paper that are always at hand and can give a flash of inspiration a home in the world. I mean, how many stories have we read about some hit song scribbled on a cocktail napkin, the seed for a great work of art sketched on the back of the water bill. Stuff like that happens all the time.

So I say that it behooves (love that word because it is so hoity toity) all of us to pick up a pen, paper and an envelope and write a letter to everybody we know and care about. That way, your envelope can be there at hand to catch whatever inspiration strikes your loved one.

This is my fortieth year. I heard on the radio yesterday that Sesame Street made its 40th year anniversary too. I don't know what Bert & Ernie have planned for their 40th -- maybe they'll finally get the right to marry. But it is my goal to write my loved ones and friends this year. It will probably take all year and if you don't get a letter from me, I must not love you very much. jk. I was just thinking that celebrating my 40th birthday with a party would be fun, but I don't think I need a bunch of cake and presents. I'd much rather give presents of my thanks to the people who have enriched my life. The thank-you for being the person who held me while I cried when my husband got on the plane to leave for Seattle. The thank-you for the person who made me dinner when I brought my third child home. The thank-you for the gifts from her garden the summer that my husband had lost his job. The thank-you for the months taken away from her home to stay with me to watch my kids. The thank-you for the arms around me as I grieved my father's death. The thank-you for the first laugh I had during that terrible dark time. And countless other kindnesses I've been blessed to receive. Those are the moments and interactions that have formed me in these past 40 years. And the enormous gratitude of debts that I know I cannot repay except with a thanks and an envelope.

An envelope that can catch inspiration and can bloom into something marvelous.

15 years of marriage based on what exactly?

Me: I saw this thing the other night on one of those lawyer shows. It said that there was research that proves that people of different races have difficulty seeing subtle differences in appearance. So that whole thing about Asians all looking alike, that's true. Man, how the heck did we end up together?

Him: I thought you were somebody else.

I gotta admit, I walked right into that one.

Fully Programmed

The Great Wolf Lodge sent us some marketing materials earlier this month. We went there for Spring Break the year they opened and I guess they've been missing our contributions to their bottom line. I more precisely should say that they sent the brochure to our 3 kids. It was a glossy full color one complete with word scramble, connect the dots, beautiful pictures of happy children who have parents that look good in swimsuits. Clearly all fantasy shots. But there was a fun little activity that our princess took to immediately. It was a picture of an empty suit case and the directions stated that you draw all the things you need to bring with you to the Great Wolf Lodge. Princess enlisted the help of her brother and Lil'T to figure out what to draw. I could figure out what most of the pictures were. There were 3 sets of bathing suits, a speedo which is the bird shaped drawing in the upper left corner supposedly for my husband. There was a sack lunch and a bottle of milk. There was one pillow. There was dog food, a stick, and even Holly in the suitcase. Tho I'm pretty sure Holly would object to being stuffed in a suitcase. There was one really puzzling picture that looked like a rectangular brush with a dark stripe down the middle.

Me: What's that?

Princess: Oh, that's the money you could be saving if you switched to Geico.

I don't know how I feel about that. I don't think I'll get nominated for parent of the year considering that my kids are so easily programmed. On the other hand, maybe I should switch to Geico. Then maybe we could afford a trip to the Great Wolf Lodge.

Honest Answers

I got tagged by a friend of mine to do this on Facebook and as my blog and FB are linked, I figured I'd post it here and it will eventually be posted there. Here are my answers to this MEME.

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose at least 8 people to be tagged. Don't forget to tag me!

To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours.

Next, tag 8 people (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :)

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Clam chowder that was leftover from last night. OMG I am a good cook. It is the first time I tried making clam chowder and I just tried what I thought would fit. Granted, this isn't like figuring out how to make a souffle but it was a triumph for me.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? At home after a dinner party with my mobile phone -- a Palm Pre. Hubby is getting increasingly annoyed with the Pre because it could be faster about loading apps, etc. but I don't care. It is freakin' awesome that I can answer my email, txt, send pics, etc. I love it!

3.Can you play Guitar Hero? We don't own Guitar Hero but I have played it before. We do own the pads for DDR for our old Xbox which is very similar, except was done with your feet.

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? My good friend Marisa. She did tell me what felching (sp?) was. Before you Google or Bing that word, remember you can't unknow something that you now know. And the visual is simply not pleasant.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Around 1am. I was up coughing. Damned cold.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Norway. Just watched SICKO by Michael Moore. The fjords are gorgeous.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? Yes. We got married on the Fourth of July. The country celebrates our anniversary with fireworks. At least that is what we tell our kids.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? I'm gonna say Sharon. But I haven't taken out a map. It could be Marisa. Not sure.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? I think you can go back to friendly acquaintances. But true friends? Probably not.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? It is good. It has been over a decade from the diet Dr. Pepper vaca on Kauai that Hubby and I took. We had about 4 days left on the vaca and we went to the grocery store. The "cube" of diet DP was on sale and I couldn't pass up on that price. After 3 days of drinking nothing but diet DP, Hubby and I couldn't touch it without wanting to throw up. I think we left some in the fridge of the hotel room.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? When Uncle Nofre died last December, I wailed. I mean truly loudly wailed. I still miss him terribly.

12. Who took your profile picture? I did.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Julia's dogs. Does that count as persons? If not, I've got Julia's leg in the picture.

14. Was yesterday better than today? No.

15. Can you live a day without TV? Hubby would disagree with this claim, but yes, I can live without TV.

16. Are you upset about anything? Not right this second. Oh wait, the railing on our deck fell off when it was dumping rain last night. I may have to get into it with my insurance company. But that is about it.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Never. jk. Of course.

18. Are you a bad influence? Yeah, most likely. I could be better about cuss words and not losing my temper. I also keep a fairly messy house, as my mother would attest to, so that's not a good influence on my messy kids either. So definitely I'm a bad influence.

19. Night out or night in? In. I'm an old married lady with kids.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My mother, last October. She's cancer free now.

22. What does the last text message in your in box say? It was a note from Julia at 8:38am. "Not so fun standing in the rain at a soccer game..."

23. How do you feel about your life right now? These are the good years. I'm living the dream.

24. Do you hate anyone? No

25. If we were to look in your face book inbox, what would we find? Emails from friends. Nothing scandalous.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Yes. By my dentist. I have beautiful teeth.

28. What song is stuck in your head? Nothing right now. Blessed silence.

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? Paul Gross. I have a crush on that actor. He's on Eastwick on ABC this year. OMG yummy. He also was on Slings and Arrows, which is where I first started crushing on him. He's tall with dark wavy hair and light eyes. What can I say? I have a type.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? My son would be in his early twenties then and while it is possible, given that he's gorgeous but (thankfully) awkward, I doubt it. Hubby always jokes that we'll be grandparents in 3 years. (The boy is 12 right now...)

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Pick up the boy from a campout.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Too much -- but obsessively on one thing at a time. So the last couple of days it was all Girl Scouts all the time. A couple of weeks ago, it was all dog training all the time.

33. Do you smile a lot? I think so.

34. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer? I think maybe 5 - 6.

35. If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you be? Paul Gross's mistress. jk. Martha Stewart before prison. Well, she wasn't so bad after prison either.

36. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook. I'm tweeting but not really well enough. There are some people who tweet way too much and I end up being deluged by them so I don't like checking too often.

37. Chicken or Beef? Beef. I'm sure I'm a mad cow and will likely turn into a flesh eating zombie if Zombieland is to be believed. Prepare for the zombie apocalypse.

38. Mac or PC? PC

39. Have you ever punched anyone in the face? No

40. Have you ever been punched in the face? Yes, by an old man who was a patient when I was a nurse. I wasn't familiar with him and had not heard that he was violent. He was sitting in a chair out in the hall and the nurse who was caring for him was in the breakroom giving report. He was tearing stuff up and throwing it on the floor so I bent over to pick the stuff up. I got too close and he gave me a fat lip. I was so shocked as I totally wasn't expecting it. He didn't even look angry. Who knows, maybe when I'm old I'll do crazy stuff like punching 20 year old nurses in the face too.

I'll remember you

August 22, 2009, was what would have been my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. My father died on Christmas Eve 2002. When they had their 40th wedding anniversary, my brothers and I talked about arranging a big party for them. My mother talked us out of it saying that we should wait for a bigger one. Wait for the 50th anniversary, she said. We didn't know that we would not have the luxury of waiting.

The first anniversary after Dad died, my brothers and I didn't know what the right thing to do was. Should we call? Should we not? All my life we had celebrated Aug. 22, which we always confused with Aug. 24, Mom's birthday. The usual phone calls came from my brothers asking me if it was Mom's birthday or our parents' anniversary. If they couldn't get a hold of me, they always called on Aug. 23, so that they were late for one but early for the other. All averaged out, right?

So back to Aug. 22, 2009. When my brother called her and wished her a happy anniversary, she said, "Why? I'm not married anymore. I'm single." She's moved on, as well she should. But this would have been a big day. She had no plans so when her friend Beth called and asked if she'd like to join her at church, she said yes. Beth's cousin who is a visiting priest was celebrating the mass and Beth wanted Mom to meet him.

After mass, Beth announced that she wanted to go out for dinner. Her cousin has lots of friends and family in Hawaii so he had a full social calendar. Mom wasn't exactly prepared for a night out, but figured they'd just have dinner someplace close. Instead the group headed out to Waikiki and ate at a fabulous gourmet buffet at one of the resorts there. Pretty swanky, right?

In conversation, Mom told Beth that this would have been her 50th anniversary. Beth, inspired, called over a group of musicians to serenade Mom. The guy holding the guitar asked Mom what she wanted to hear and she said, "Anything Hawaiian..." The musician said, "I know exactly the right one..."



Mom said later that it was all she could do to keep from crying there, in front of Beth, her friends, and this musician who inexplicably had picked the exact song that my father used to sing for my mom.

Here is the thank-you note she sent to Beth. I helped her write it:

What a surprise you gave me on Saturday! I am grateful not only for the lovely dinner but also for the constancy of your friendship. Since Domingo died, the 22nd of August has been a bittersweet anniversary. While I always remember the life we built and shared together, it seems strange to celebrate our wedding anniversary without him. But when that musician sang the first words of Lei Aloha, it really felt like Sandy was with me, wishing me a happy anniversary. Thank you for such a special evening and memory.

Chicken skin, right?

Holly -wog

Poor little Holly has such a fun name. All kinds of neat nick names can be made from it. Holly-wood. Holly-wog. Holly Berry. Hollyanna.

A couple of weeks ago, lil' Miss Holly proved that she loves me far more than any of my human children ever could. Maybe it is just that they've not been faced with proving their love for me by putting themselves in mortal danger, so perhaps I am a little unfair in my assessment.

We were at the beach for our last summer hurrah. It was a perfect day for it. The tide was low earlier in the day so when the water came in, it was nice and warm. There was a breeze so we weren't too hot on the sunny day, but it did make for choppy waters. I think the waves were maybe 3 or 4 inches tall but when you're Holly sized (she was maybe 8 - 9 pounds at the time) they're tsunami sized waves.

Lil'T wanted to go swimming so I walked out into the surf with her. Holly is not a swimming dog. Her breed historically lived on farms and hunted mice. They were always far from the sea. Holly doesn't even like to go out in the rain. But she followed me and T to the shore where she howled and barked for me to come back to the dry land because it was treacherous in the water. Surely, T and I should know better than to risk our lives in the sea. T and I played in the surf and Holly looked on completely dismayed. Somewhere in that doggy brain, she made a decision to save our lives and she jumped into the surf, braving waves breaking over her head, swimming (more like thrashing) because she's not an artful swimmer. I've covered how here breed is not a water dog, right? And she swam into my arms. At that point, I was holding both the dog and the pre-schooler. Lil'T was laughing and having a great time. Holly was crying, wet, miserable, shaking in fear, and cold. So I walked the 3 yards to the shore and plopped her on dry land. Again with the crying, whimpering, and howling. And again with the jumping in, thrashing in the water, swimming out to Lil'T and me. It happened about 5 or 6 times.

Our friend Kiko, who is a veterinarian, was with us at the beach. She saw the whole pathetic display of Holly's undying devotion. She was asked if this was normal for dogs to behave this way. She said that it wasn't normal. That it bordered on pathological. Kiko said that I should spend time away from Holly and let her learn to be on her own a little more.

Pathological?

I think I'm okay with she and me being codependent on each other. I mean, it isn't like I'm enabling her to do drugs or alcohol. She just has a slightly unbalanced attachment to me and I have to admit, I do to her as well. That throwing her own mortal fears to the wind and jumping into the water to "save" me, well, that just sealed it.

Devotion = Holly

MJ tribute

Thanks for sharing this Jen.